Smoke alarm stops chirping at 4:30. I drag myself back to bed and go to sleep. Until 6:30. Beep. . . beep. . . beep. . . The gods obviously hate me today. I get back up, hoping this will go away again. 10:00. Nope, not going away this time. I check the internets, who inform me that this is probably just the alarm wanting its battery backup replaced. Problem - bedroom smoke alarm is on a 12 foot recessed ceiling. I have a 4 foot stepladder. Let's see - am I still stupid enough to climb on the top step of a ladder, as they expressly tell you not to do, and will it be enough.? Checks. Nope, and nope. *sigh*
Knock on downstairs neighbor's door to see if they have a ladder I can borrow. They're not home. Realize that the nearest place I might be able to buy a ladder is Target. On Black Friday. Briefly contemplate taking a sword and the four foot stepladder and impaling the smoke alarm. Realize that this could potentially cause the whole alarm system to go off. Go to Target. No ladder. *sigh*
Come back home, check Craigslist, call the first handyman, who wants $80 to come out and change the battery. Say fine. Am now, for reasons inexplicable but strangely inevitable, horrendously sick. Headache, nausea, forehead sweaty-but-cold-to-the-touch sick. Lie on couch moaning until handyman shows up. Brings in ladder, changes battery, alarm shuts up. Pay very nice man, fall into bed and sleep the sleep of the sick and the damned.
And now, I feel better. And I am thankful for online yarn sales, and Amazon discounts on DVDs, and a smoke alarm that will shut up. And the pot of chili that is simmering on my stove, and the fact that I no longer feel physically incapable of eating. Happy Black Friday, y'all!